I think I'm the most boring, ordinary , uninteresting person I can ever think of...I want to be different than what I am, I want to be somewhat normal like others, but somehow everything is odd about me...I don't like people very much, I don't like everything in the world,of course they don't know that.. I'm good at hiding it...the only human being I'm so vulnerable about is my daughter...she is the only thing that ever makes me feel any kind of human emotions...other than that...I don't think I'm capable of having any sort of human emotions or connections...isn't that odd? I've hated everything about me & my life even as a child...everyday is a struggle...

Another weekend gone by, nothing new, just usual daily disappointments. My daughter is sick again for the 2nd time in the last 4 weeks, I just wish she can get a break from all these, I want her to have at least a really good, homework free weekend, guess it won't happen 'till summer, or maybe even not at all. I think I'm cursed, my fear is that, what if it's genetic? I feel like my daughter is starting to have all the bad luck coming her way no matter what she does! I feel like it's my fault, everything is!