Another weekend gone by, nothing new, just usual daily disappointments. My daughter is sick again for the 2nd time in the last 4 weeks, I just wish she can get a break from all these, I want her to have at least a really good, homework free weekend, guess it won't happen 'till summer, or maybe even not at all. I think I'm cursed, my fear is that, what if it's genetic? I feel like my daughter is starting to have all the bad luck coming her way no matter what she does! I feel like it's my fault, everything is!

I am really really scared and angry at the same time...everytime my phone rings I get sick to my stomach that it could be another company informing me of the recent activity on my identity case. I hate this feeling!I did not do anything to deserve this.

So, really, why is it that when you're trying to do everything right, somehow things go wrong? On top of whatever I'm dealing in my life, now, my identity has been stolen and apparently, using my credit card and opening new one....I've been so good at safeguarding my personal info, never lost cards or id's, shredding anything that has my name & info, why me? And the sad part, I can't even find comfort on my so called husband because I have to repeat every single detail of what's going on whenever the subject comes up, well it's not just this subject, it's pretty much everything in our daily lives for the last few years now. Ohh, that's right! I am cursed!!!! dow do you break a curse????? I'm tired....and weary....

I hate my life...wait...-i think I hate me...maybe that's it!

I wonder what it's to sleep in a nice & quiet, clean fresh bed, no unwanted smells, unwanted noise, just the way you want it to be....wonder what it's like to come home to a clean and organized place, just like the way you left it in the morning rush, just the way you you want it...I think I just really want to sleep & rest peacefully...maybe I was really meant to be alone with a child....oh how much I wish to be alone....

What do I really feel? I feel so many things, yet so empty...I feel I miss someone or somebody, yet I don't know who...want to do so many things, but don't know what...
where oh where do I begin? Only one thing for sure.... is that I'm glad I have a daughter, without her, I'd be nobody...a waste of space on earth..

Meet with a friend today, haven't seen her in ages, say, 8 or 9 years? It was fun, very nice change for me, made me realize how much I've missed in life, I've been out of touch in everything aspect of life...she too had a lot of changes in life...but I think she's stronger than me in every way...she knows what she wants and put in into action, me, on the other hand, always worried about what it would do to the other person if I do it, do not want to hurt or dissatisfy anyone, guess I'll always be stuck in my own circle...what do I really want anyway?